I would like to get some feedback on a story I have been working on for my team's RPG we are building. I know it is still very rough. I am currently just laying it out and will go back through again and work on the flow. I am wondering if anyone finds this story interesting at all if done right, as well as anyways to improve the basic plot of the story. As I said, it is still very, very rough. I am just trying to see what the public thinks. Feel free to post any feedback, even negative, as long as it is constructive. Thanks
The satellite images are getting clearer by the day. In less than 3 months, the comet will collide with Earth. Astronomers around the world have been constantly running the numbers and suspect the comet will crash somewhere in North America. The impact of the comet is not the worst part, as it is not large enough to destroy the entire planet. The massive shockwave it will send through the Earth's layers, however, could cause severe damage.
A small group of scientists in North America have solved the problem the crisis has brought about though. Instead of trying to evacuate everyone, they have developed a machine that can reconstruct human bodies from DNA samples. They plan to catalog everyone's DNA, let them risk it during the comet strike, then reconstruct anyone who does not survive. This will be no easy task though. The population of North America is extremely high and nearly the whole continent is heavily populated. This means that not many will survive, leaving the number needing to be reconstructed very huge. Because they have such little time, the citizens feel this it the only option and relectantly agree.
Several months later as the comet collides, millions of people manage to survive. Hundreds and hundreds of millions of others are not nearly as fortunate. The task of rebuilding of the race is now in the hands of the scientists. After cranking out around 900,000 reconstructed people something terrible happens. The ground begins to shake and everything on the shelves of the labratory falls to the floor. Soon the world settles down and the scientists realize it was just another of the aftershocks. This is the first time, however, that they had been using the machine when an aftershock occured.
As they inspect it for damage, they notice a small crack in one of the circuits, but the machine tests fine after they restart it because the automatic safety shutoff was triggered by the quake. Once it begins working they think it is fully operational except that it now seems to operate much faster. They decide this is probably not a bad thing since they need to get the task of reconstructing hundreds of millions of people done as soon as possible. They continue pushing forward and a few thousand more people are reconstructed before the day's shift is done. Hard work has left them bitter and tired. Feeling the need to press on as soon as possible, they decide to all take a quick nap to refresh themselves before being work on another set of people.
While they rest, another aftershock occurs and they awake quickly and instantly run out to the lab in search of any damaged materials. What they find is much, much worse...
Also a first draft of our game design document can be found here
if it helps provide any context for the story.