This is hilarious, but you can do better. More ideas (not necessarily for your platform game. more like a rant):
- Maps should consist of overexaggerated decor. For example, ground should just be endlessly covered by scattered newspapers and crumbled bricks.
- Ensure there's lots of unclean geometry that players can snag onto. The flow of levels should be extremely unecessary, cluttered, distracting and useless -- especially when considered as a prop to leverage the quality of gameplay.
- Provide as many ways as possible for clever-joes to exploit your map designs, but please don't provide any obvious or immediate means for their victims to counter these exploits (e.g. sniper camping nests which are impossible to breach).
- Above all else, focus on the bad-ass-ness of scenario gameplay:
- insert as many swear words as possible
- don't be afraid to annoy the player with interrupting cut-scenes
- add lots of random explosions and nonsensical destruction
- script many unique predefined combat events including pointless-but-cool assassination maneuvers etc. but they can never contribute to the gameplay
- subtract from the player's personal situation in gameplay enough that the count of permutations of how a player might pass some checkpoint (including everything they do, from the order which they kill particular enemies, pickup weapons, move to various positions etc.) may never be a number larger than 20.
I'm attacking Call of Duty here and on the previous points.
- Sexy ladies. Please expect them to slay dragons in metal underwear. Though they're capable of slaying dragons, they're princesses too, so also expect to rescue them from the evil fortress.